Cyberbullies

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Cyberbullies

Post by Sakhaiva on Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:13 pm

Until last night, I really believed that 'cyberbullying' wasn't an issue that I had to deal with as an adult. Until....

Last night a person I know (online only) posted something on their online space that was, imo, pretty cruel about the Palin/Oprah show, and like the 7 posters before me, I wrote a very brief response. I wrote that I did not want to dis Palin; that I was going to keep it positive by saying she looked good on Oprah and I wished her the best.

I had no idea what a powerful and big scary women I am, for this is what was said to me in return. I was going to post it here, but decided the better of it.

In a nutshell, it was long, extremely rude with ample mud slinging. After accusing me of denying him his own opinion, I was told that I'm entitled to my own opinion, as long as my own opinion does not differ from his

Avoiding the temptation to step further into the quagmire of hate that lurked underneath the mask of political opinions, I decided the best way to deal with a cyberbully is to simply step away. But it did cause me to question the nature of online communications. The internet gives cruel people an easy opportunity to intimidate others by use of mud-slinging and the threat of public ridicule.

And if this garbage is having an affect on an adult, I think it is safe to assume things are worse for our teens.

Thoughts? Experiences with your own cyberbully encounters?

http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/
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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by AutumnalTone on Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:34 pm

Um...where was the bullying? I don't see any.

I don't see any attempt to limit your opinion to one that matches his. I see him asking for your motivation in posting what can be perceived as an inflammatory message. He also addressed your criticism (as he perceived it) of his post, providing his reasoning for making the post.

None of that involves any bullying. If anything, the perceived message of your post (that he should keep quiet if not saying something positive) would be the only thing I'd see as bullying. Note that I don't think you actually implied any such thing, so there wasn't any bullying involved anywhere that I can see.

Have to say I'm puzzled.
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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by Gorm_Sionnach on Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:38 pm

I find that mud slinging only has a real effect if it occurs by someone who is seen as reputable (generally within a specific community) and others from that community agree with the comment about another member of said community/ or someone well known by that community.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by John T Mainer on Tue Nov 17, 2009 3:43 pm

For an insult to matter, I have to respect the one speaking. There is a former member of our own community who resigned his place among us and then attempted to seize by legal manoever positions he failed to be elected to. When that failed he began to slander everyone who was elected to the positions he coveted but was never elected to.

We declared him Nithling, oathbreaker, honourless one. This judgement voted on by the folk entire renders him no longer a person of worth, whose words bear no more weight than the howling of a dog. Since then he continues to howl, but we have ceased to care. Can he bully us? No. He's simply beneath the notice of any free man or woman. He can howl until he dies and nobody will care. Now when I hear from others that he is still howling, it just makes me laugh.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by gillyflower on Tue Nov 17, 2009 7:16 pm

Yes, I have experienced cyber bullies. I think people who have posted at Beliefnet have run across them. They also sometimes are found on some fan boards. Sometimes the bullies create sockpuppets and then they may attack a person who thinks that a gang is is dogpiling on them rather than one crazy person. Some of them try to "take down" or otherwise attack people's blogs. They go after anyone who disagrees with them or has a different view of their obsession.

It is easy to say to ignore them but for those of us who are sensitive, it is still hurtful. If they are really crazy there isn't much you can do about them except ignore them. Sometimes that's impossible. I've left boards because they let it happen. Sometimes that's all you can do.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by Guest on Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:59 pm

gillyflower wrote:Yes, I have experienced cyber bullies. I think people who have posted at Beliefnet have run across them. They also sometimes are found on some fan boards. Sometimes the bullies create sockpuppets and then they may attack a person who thinks that a gang is is dogpiling on them rather than one crazy person. Some of them try to "take down" or otherwise attack people's blogs. They go after anyone who disagrees with them or has a different view of their obsession.

It is easy to say to ignore them but for those of us who are sensitive, it is still hurtful. If they are really crazy there isn't much you can do about them except ignore them. Sometimes that's impossible. I've left boards because they let it happen. Sometimes that's all you can do.

Amen Gilly. I too ran against many of them over at that place that shall not be named. It's just one of the many reasons I left there & came here. I was even accused by one over there of abusing my daughter & Grandkids for not reading the Bible to them.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by sacrificialgoddess on Tue Nov 17, 2009 11:23 pm

Hee! I thought we were all cyber bullies when playing mafia wars.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by wmdkitty on Wed Nov 18, 2009 8:48 am

On another board, a person who shall remain nameless spent two months going out of her way to insult and belittle me over any and every thing I posted, even when she wasn't a part of the conversation.

I snapped and told the bitch off, only to see, in my inbox: KILL YOURSELF.

SHE got a week's suspension. I got a monthlong ban for "manipulating the moderators". (I did noting of the sort, but I can only assume that the bitch went and whined to the mods and made all kinds of shit up.)
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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by gillyflower on Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:08 am

I'm sorry Kitty that happened but not surprised by anything I heard happening over there.

People like that are cyberbullies and the people who are in charge have to stop it or they are just as bad as the bullies. If they don't, then it is a bad board and deserves to go away. Some mods like to try to let the people involved work it out, but really, sometimes they just need to be the parental unit and put a stop to bad behavior, passive aggressive or plain mean for the good of the group.

There are boards where they say one thing - like they are for everyone - and are run by the ones in charge like only one group is wanted. I really don't think half the problems would arise if they would just say No One With a Different (religion, opinion, pairing) Need Apply. Usually what they say they are all about is one thing, and then what they do is another.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by TigersEyeDowsing on Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:30 pm

Well, I don't know if there was "bullying" here in this case per se or not, but there is certainly much opportunity for nastiness. I've had my share of being nasty on facebook and getting the nasty on facebook. I'm opinionated I suppose. Laughing Whatever the case may be, it's not fun. And it's also not cool to say you can't have ideas that differ. Hello, freedom of thought anyone?

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by wmdkitty on Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:30 am

Yeah, "she" pulled the "oh, but I'm a poor, persecuted TRANSWOMAN" bullshit and carried on a HUGE grudge over me stating months and months ago that chromosomes determine gender. (Which they do.)

I want IT to go away, and take ITS drama elsewhere. IT has lost any and all humanity in my eyes, due to ITS bullying.

And like every bully, IT went and whined when I pushed back. Fucking cowardly little cocksucker. If IT had any semblance of humanity, it would have recognized that IT was the source of the problem.

I have no problem with trans-folk, and am quite happy to treat them as their preferred gender.

I have a problem with assholes who think their shit don't stink.
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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by John T Mainer on Thu Nov 19, 2009 4:55 pm

Its a bit of a wierd thing to freak about online. Your persecuting me because I'm trans/black/sixty foot fire breathing dragon...... its online people. Your transgendered person could be a fourteen year old boy with his first pubic hair, or an eighty year old great grandmother. Its not like we can tell.

We can judge by the words spoken, and hold people accountable for their behavior. It's not like we can judge you by any part of your real life as you may not be anything like what you represent online (shocker).

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by Gorm_Sionnach on Thu Nov 19, 2009 5:18 pm

John T Mainer wrote:Its a bit of a wierd thing to freak about online. Your persecuting me because I'm trans/black/sixty foot fire breathing dragon...... its online people. Your transgendered person could be a fourteen year old boy with his first pubic hair, or an eighty year old great grandmother. Its not like we can tell.

We can judge by the words spoken, and hold people accountable for their behavior. It's not like we can judge you by any part of your real life as you may not be anything like what you represent online (shocker).

I'd agree that online behaviour has (generally) no bearing on an individuals "real life", so the only thing worth pointing out is that if one does belong to a community which exists predominanently online (i.e. members are so geographically distant that actual meetings are nigh impossible) then in such a circumstance one need worry about their reputation. The intenet is (often, but not always) a publically accessible permnent record.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by sacrificialgoddess on Thu Nov 19, 2009 10:51 pm

That's the funny thing about the internet. There is just enough anonymity that there are people out there that think they can get away with being assholes without repercussions. And then they get all indignant when called on it.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by DotNotInOz on Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:19 am

John T Mainer wrote:Its a bit of a wierd thing to freak about online. Your persecuting me because I'm trans/black/sixty foot fire breathing dragon...... its online people. Your transgendered person could be a fourteen year old boy with his first pubic hair, or an eighty year old great grandmother. Its not like we can tell.

We can judge by the words spoken, and hold people accountable for their behavior. It's not like we can judge you by any part of your real life as you may not be anything like what you represent online (shocker).

Yeah, exactly.

For all we know, "John" could actually be a nerdy little guy with black framed eyeglasses and a plastic penholder or a woman with a significant case of penis envy.

Nice picture, John, so whose is it really? < sassy wink and grin >
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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by Guest on Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:33 am

I can honestly tell you that I've met three people from that other place & have had numerous phone conversations with many others from there. They'll tell you I'm the same in person/on the phone as I am here. I just try to be myself either online, in person, or on the phone. Which is a unperfect human being trying to live his life as best as I can & not deliberately hurt anyone. While being accepting of all. For everyone deserves to be respected until they show they shouldn't be.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by John T Mainer on Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:31 pm

DotNotInOz wrote:
John T Mainer wrote:Its a bit of a wierd thing to freak about online. Your persecuting me because I'm trans/black/sixty foot fire breathing dragon...... its online people. Your transgendered person could be a fourteen year old boy with his first pubic hair, or an eighty year old great grandmother. Its not like we can tell.

We can judge by the words spoken, and hold people accountable for their behavior. It's not like we can judge you by any part of your real life as you may not be anything like what you represent online (shocker).

Yeah, exactly.

For all we know, "John" could actually be a nerdy little guy with black framed eyeglasses and a plastic penholder or a woman with a significant case of penis envy.

Nice picture, John, so whose is it really? < sassy wink and grin >

Its true (sob). I suffer from beard and chest hair envy. In real life, I don't look a bit like my big hairy avatar


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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by DotNotInOz on Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:01 pm

Good Gods and Goddesses, "John"! Now, I'm really suspicious. How did you get that picture of ME?????

::::: snicker, snark, giggle :::::
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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by sacrificialgoddess on Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:26 pm

That chick's head doesn't match her body. I smell Photoshop.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by gillyflower on Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:41 pm

That chick kind of looks like a man to me.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by Guest on Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:34 pm

gillyflower wrote:That chick kind of looks like a man to me.

Ah Gilly. I think you need to get your eyes checked. Make sure they're checked & not plaid.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by DotNotInOz on Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:45 pm

Well, whether she's a female or a shemale, I think it's clear she spent a wad of money on implants. I don't think I've ever seen "naturals" that large AND globular.

I hope to hell she wears a very good bra all the time. Her chest wall looks too slim by far to support that kind of weight without well-structured assistance.
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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by sacrificialgoddess on Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:32 pm

Her head is too large. And skin tone doesn't match.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by gillyflower on Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:13 pm

warlordofks wrote:
gillyflower wrote:That chick kind of looks like a man to me.

Ah Gilly. I think you need to get your eyes checked. Make sure they're checked & not plaid.

Those are implants, and not very good ones, and they could be implanted on a man or woman. Her body looks wrong, too narrow on top and straight through the waist, like a man.

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Re: Cyberbullies

Post by wmdkitty on Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:54 am

Yeh, a bit too manly for my tastes. And I prefer natural breasts, thx. (I can spot the fake ones a mile away.)
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