Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

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Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by tmarie64 on Tue Nov 03, 2009 6:34 pm

We have lived in this trailer park for 8 years. We have had this same dog for every one of those 8 years. For every day of those 8 years we have had a tie-out cable attached to the back steps, he goes out, he pees, he poops, he barks (once maybe twice if we don't move fast enough), he comes in, he goes to sleep.
My neighbor (beside me) let her son out with her dog. He brought it into my yard, by Bingo. I stuck my head out the back door and told him, "I don't let Bingo pee or poop in your yard. Take your dog to pee somewhere else. Not here."
Suddenly, he and two other kids (from behind me) decide to sit in a semi-circle, JUST outside of Bingo's reach and "play". I told them, "If you think I won't kick your asses for screwing with my dog, you are SORELY mistaken. Get out of my yard." In all the time the kids behind us have been here, more than 2 years, they have NEVER EVER played in their backyard... Ever.
Of course, they went and told their dad, half the story. He comes over wanting to know why I'm threatening his kids. I told him what they did. He apologized, he was not aware of what happened BEFORE I told them what I did. He's a nice guy, and told me not to worry, they would not do that again and if it happened when he was not home, please, wait and let HIM kick their asses. LOL
People wonder why I don't like neighbors, kids, or trailer parks.
I told the dad that Bingo is 14 years old and has never hurt anyone or anything, and loves kids. He said, "Yea, I know, your dog is a very good animal. The boys need their asses kicked for torturing him like that. And they WERE torturing him. They knew he wanted to play with them and they were being mean little shits. It won't happen again."

At least THAT neighbor is a good guy.

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Re: Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by TigersEyeDowsing on Thu Nov 05, 2009 4:49 pm

Good for him!

Maybe he'll beat the hell outta those kids. Or at least smash the Xbox. Wink Sounds like he's at least responsive. I'm with ya.. I don't like kids, or trailer parks myself.

Pellet guns work great.

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Re: Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by tmarie64 on Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:06 pm

He's a pretty nice guy. I have only seen the mother once, I don't think she's very involved with the kids.
The dad was surprised that the kids actually backed off as quickly as they did because their mom, apparently, doesn't present much of an authority figure. I told him, "They know Charlie and she told them to believe me when I said I'd kick their butts because I don't let ANYONE torment ANY animal."

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Re: Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by Willowcreek70633 on Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:41 am

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph a responsive parent! What is this world coming to? Responsibility? My word! Now

TMarie, lets get to the bottom of the NEXT door neighbor that started this fiasco to begin with. Whats up with THEM? Hmmm? Right church (trailer park) WRONG pew (neighbor)
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Re: Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by tmarie64 on Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:45 am

Don't even get me started on the woman whose kid started it all. That one... 5 kids, different daddies, no child support, lets whoever she happens to be dating move in after a week of dating.....

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Post by Willowcreek70633 on Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:28 am

Hysterical Oh come on now TMarie,.....Lets get this Party started! I live for your topics of discussion, darlin! Nothin like havin the stupids of the world to gossip about! You know we ALL run into em time to time...some just more than others! Hysterical
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Re: Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by tmarie64 on Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:11 pm

This neighbor is the woman from the "vindication" post. It's a wonder her 15 year old twins aren't pregnant. (By one of the mother's boyfriends)
I don't know what goes on in that house but those kids know things that no kids should know.
The 8 year old daughter tosses the "f" word around like it's nothing.
All the kids have counselors... the oldest boy (11) has spent time in a halfway house for touching his little brother inappropriately. He has said, to his mother and anyone else who will listen, "I want to go back to juvie".... How fucked up does your household have to be to make your 11 year old child want to live in a government facility???
I told her the other day, after 2 days of her kids playing hooky at home, that South Point does not play. They WILL send the truant authorities and her kids will flunk if they don't go to school. "Well, they'll never get into college anyway, so who cares".... I wanted to slap her. Instead, I said, "Well, they'll never get a job that will pay their bills and support them without even a h.s. diploma. Look at you..." then turned and got in my car and left the convenience store that she works 25 hours a week in.

Welfare should be a fallback, not a career choice. Too many people that really NEED it can't get it because of people like her, and various other neighbors who know how to work the system.

I have got to get out of this park. 60 homes here, 20 of them are inhabited by people who actually work, pay their own bills, and don't collect welfare.

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Post by TigersEyeDowsing on Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:22 pm

>>Welfare should be a fallback, not a career choice. Too many people that really NEED it can't get it because of people like her, and various other neighbors who know how to work the system.


Where can I get that on a Tshirt?

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Post by DotNotInOz on Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:46 pm

The sad thing is that there's little in the system that can help people who grew up in welfare homes break the pattern unless something happens to motivate them to want a better life and to be willing to do whatever it takes to achieve it.

Whatever we grow up with is normal to us. That the kind of life your neighbor leads could be normal for her is bizarre to those of us raised in more fortunate circumstances.

I wish that humankind could figure out effective ways of helping the poor and downtrodden of society as well as effective means of rehabilitating criminals. Both have long been serious problems with little likelihood of being solved.
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Post by Willowcreek70633 on Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:03 am

TMarie make that T-shirt, lady Hell I'll buy one for me & TED! Maybe your neighbor can come clean my house, I'll buy her one too! Like what ya have to say, Ma'am! WELFARE SHOULD BE A FALL BACK NOT A CAREER CHOICE! Love it!
Miss DOT, tell me you did NOT open up this can of worms? "Lucy, Oh Lucy? You got some splanin to do." Hysterical
For starters its the system: The owners of said houses/apts/trailers/ get the bulk of the $$$ from the government, the tenant pays from $30 -$120 per month. (Told ya bout the story? No? Said lady comes in for a $30 money order to pay her monthly rent. I charge her $30.49 for money order. She proceeds to buy a fountain LARGE coke, bag of brownies, big bag of chips, & some gum with her food stamps). Over $6. for purchase. Then she takes out a $20, & buys some scratch off lottery tickets, plus power balls! I wanted to reach across the counter & smack the shit outta her! For about the same food stamp purchase, I paid REAL $$, & my family that night had fresh fried potatoes ($1.99)& hot dogs,(.79) w green beans ($1.49)with a salad (.99c lettuce .15 onion 1.39 tomatoes) with iced sun tea to drink! ...do the math peeps!
So, to start off if you receive food stamps you shop for fresh meat, fresh veges, & fruits & thats it. All other foods to include junk, snacks, spreads, sodas, etc & inner store purchases should be bought w REAL $$. What NO dairy? NOPE. All dairy products should be bought w REAL $$ also. Cause sister YOU got all day to learn to cook from scratch! If you receive food stamps you should NOT receive Free Food School Programs. Don't have a job, or its just PART TIME? Get your ass up w your kids cook them breakfast, pack them lunch, you ALSO must report in to school for volunteer work cafeteria: (to help w your cooking skills & practiced @ home) cleaning the gym, hallways, walls, & playground area (to help w your cleaning skills to be practiced at home. During the after school hrs while children are playing/studying on school property complete w daycare, your forced to take classes so you can gradumawait & get you a DIPLOMA. With Diploma in hand w some skills behind you, you can get you a FULL time job & join the rest of society. After all this RESPONSIBILITY that you have during the day, you may be too tired to go home & drink yourself into a stupor, sell your body or drugs, & get into trouble with the law (WHICH IS ANOTHER FREE FRICKIN RIDE). Because tomorrow you got to get up & do it all over again!
Am I gettin close, to solving some of the downtrodden, & poors problems yet?
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Re: Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by DotNotInOz on Sun Nov 08, 2009 5:00 am

No, you're not, Willow, because you obviously grew up being taught how to live responsibly and better yourself.

Remember what I said about believing that the childhood environment we had is normal? As kids we don't know how other people live, and early conditioning fixes our expectations in patterns that are extremely hard to break.

We know that abused children are more likely to grow up to be abusive parents than not. We know that children of alcoholics are likely to become alcoholics themselves. Abused women tend to pick partners who will abuse them partially because that's what these women have been conditioned to think relationships are like.

It's extremely difficult to break such early conditioning. I think you expect way too much from people who come from multi-generational welfare families.
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Post by TigersEyeDowsing on Sun Nov 08, 2009 6:00 am

The fact that it's there, however, Dot - doesn't make it right. I don't think it's too much to ask people to clean up their act and make their society a smidgen better. Learning a new habit is easier than breaking an old one... abuse is a hard cycle to break, but anyone can learn to heave their hunks off the couch and get a real job. Of course, as always, I have zero sympathy for those who don't work. As my grandmother says, people spend more time and work harder at trying to not work than they would if they'd just get a job.

I vote Dee for president, myself.

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Post by Willowcreek70633 on Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:52 pm

TED, your Grandmother, was oh so right! "As my grandmother says, people spend more time and work harder at trying to not work than they would if they'd just get a job." I think your Grandmother, along w TMarie should run for president, with sage advice & catchy phrases...they'll do great! cheers

I grew up in an extended family w 12 people living @ home. Everyone had a job or a responsibility. (So yes Dot, you are right there!) During WWI & II, my Grandmother received stamps for food (because she had children)...she would give them to the "poor". My Grandmother, worked, so did her young teenage children, her 2 oldest sons were fighting WWII. My Grandmother was NEVER poor, she always had a job. There are some old adages "Poor is a mind set. Nothing in this world is free. Free & $$$ has its price also, even if its ignorance." Shocked
Plus in my upbringing: jocolor "Dagos don't except nothin from nobody, cause there is ALWAYS somethin attached." Suspect
To break a chain of poverty, abuse, or any chain, there has to be a 'want to'. You have to be so sick & tired of your situation that you have a want & need to change not only for yourself, but for your family. Its so easy not to, because the promise of $$ speaks volumns to people. $$ doesn't fix anything! Hell, even Rosa Hart brought self realiztion & respect to the front of the bus, & here we are putting it way in the back for what? $$$?
What I'm tryin to say is if you give $$ to the poor, they don't know how to act, or a drunk a bottle of booze, a dope addict some drugs, or the fox the hen house!
To the women/men that are abused mentally, physically & spiritually, there is a lack of self. Self realization, self respect.
In the book "The Gift of Fear." Last night I read for awhile: And to paraphrase what was said: Our children carry the burden of society, but 9 chances out of 10, proportionatly that is wrong. They are the adults care givers, they take the lit cigs/doobies out of the sleeping parents hands, they care for their siblings by being home alone with them, they tend to their familys, they get food for their family's even if its stealing....but our children in our society are the providers that the adults in their lives refuse to be. I thought that was very interesting, & yes I've known kids to do the exact above things! I've had these type of kids in my home as a young child & as a parent!
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Post by MaineCaptain on Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:56 pm

TigersEyeDowsing wrote:The fact that it's there, however, Dot - doesn't make it right. I don't think it's too much to ask people to clean up their act and make their society a smidgen better. Learning a new habit is easier than breaking an old one... abuse is a hard cycle to break, but anyone can learn to heave their hunks off the couch and get a real job. Of course, as always, I have zero sympathy for those who don't work. As my grandmother says, people spend more time and work harder at trying to not work than they would if they'd just get a job.

I vote Dee for president, myself.

It is interesting, I have thought about this with criminals. They spend so much time figuring out how to pull off a crime, They could attempt to get a legal job and actually do the for less effort.

Dee for President!

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Post by DotNotInOz on Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:15 pm

It's easy for all of us to say, "Well, they should just get a job!" We know what responsibility for oneself involves because we learned that way back when from parents who taught us how to save money, spend wisely and demanded that we earn "fun" money by doing extra chores. We further know how to apply for jobs, prepare for interviews, assemble appropriate clothing for whatever job we're trying to get...etc. Someone who grew up in a family where living on welfare, doing drugs, drinking up what little money there was...you tell me how that person is A) going to be motivated to break that pattern when familiar ways to make money are welfare and maybe dealing drugs and B) how such a person is going to know how to start toward getting a decent job with little education and next to no basic skills.

I think that few of us can begin to understand the mindset of someone who never had the kind of structured upbringing of which Willow speaks and which most of us had.

I've researched generational poverty/welfare and know that it's not as easy as all of you appear to think it is to break the cycle.

Keep in mind, also, that people tend to do what's easiest and feels good. Thus, I can understand the woman Willow mentioned who spends her food stamps on junk food.

Mind you, I'm not excusing anyone who lives on welfare and breeds in order to get a bigger check. I'm simply explaining that if that's what you grew up with, that's your mindset, just as spending carefully and working to get what you want is ours.
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Post by DotNotInOz on Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:24 pm

MaineCaptain wrote:

It is interesting, I have thought about this with criminals. They spend so much time figuring out how to pull off a crime, They could attempt to get a legal job and actually do the for less effort.

Not necessarily.

Consider mindset again. If you grow up watching Dad or Mom's current boyfriend counting out the take from things like conning people or dealing drugs, you'll more than likely learn to do as he does because that's simply what you think guys do.

It would probably be far more difficult and require more effort for many habitual criminals to get a legal job than to continue doing what they already know they can do successfully...be crooks.

One reason why the repeat rate is so high among criminals is that once they get out of jail, they go back to wherever is home...which is often where they learned their "trade" to start with and where their partners in crime still are.
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Post by MaineCaptain on Sun Nov 08, 2009 1:45 pm

I understand the mindset, I have studied it for years.

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Post by tmarie64 on Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:24 pm

I've never said she should just get a job. She has a job. HOWEVER, she SHOULD send her kids to school so they don't end up like her... 5 kids, different fathers, welfare, busting her non-diploma hump at a minimum wage job with no chance for advancement or any better.
She didn't grow up that way. Her mother HATES that she's on welfare. Wants her to move closer to home (aka mom and dad) so mom can help with babysitting and if the kids get sick.

I ground my kids if they don't get the grades that I know they are capable of. My oldest has never gotten less than a 96 on ANY thing. She brought home a paper, once, with an 88 and she made me double check, she thought the teacher was wrong, sure enough... He misread 3 of her answers (that's what he said anyway). She got a 100 on the test.
My youngest brought home her midterm grades once in 4th grade, she had a 65 in writing. She had had a 93 the previous 9 weeks, so I called the teacher and asked why she let an "A" student's grades drop 28 points with no notes to me or anything. THEN I ripped Charlie a new one. I told her she WOULD get that grade up by the end of the period or I would break my foot off in her ass and she wouldn't see daylight from the time she got off the school bus to the time she went to school in the morning.
At the end of the 9 weeks she brought home a 100.
I don't want my kids to be in their 40s before they finish their degrees, like their father. Or to not get a degree at all, like me.
I want BETTER for them. I wouldn't dream of letting them play hooky. They go to school and know that they will go to school AFTER high school because education is the best way to have a better life. They've seen the way our lives have vastly improved since their dad advanced his education.

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Post by tmarie64 on Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:26 pm

Oh... I explained to the teacher that I in no way blamed her for Charlie's grade drop. I knew Chuck and she didn't see eye to eye all the time and that was part of the problem. I just wanted to know why she watched the grade drop 28 points with nary a word to me.

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Post by Willowcreek70633 on Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:55 pm

"Well, they'll never get into college anyway, so who cares".... } is what TMarie's neighbor told her! College? Hell, she nor her kids will get outta high school! Everyone starts out & goes to public school for 8 hrs a day, her kids have friends that are poor that ARE NOT on any type of government assistance. Her kids go to other kids homes to 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL'. HER kids find "Free Food." @ their friends house. HER kids see & hear from their friends whats going on in the world. HER kids AREN'T sheltered from a damn thing. They (generational government assistance families) on this program DO hand down from generation to generation, because ITS THERE FOR THEM to take & take & keep on taking. And WE (the tax payers) pay & pay & keep on paying! Its not an ethnic thing, nor a race thing, its not a location thing, its not a region thing, its a DISEASEIES thing. "Dis is easy thing!" Laughing There is NO incentive for them to get off the bandwagon, they have it all! Free housing, food, & time! So why should they, again?
What I'm saying Dot, (God/Goddess love ya) HighFive Hug2
"Take it away, or give THEM some restrictive, guidelines, & you'll see a change within a generation."
There is a saying in the south, & you probably know it..."What? Did I take you to raise?"
See, Dot, I do understand all of what your saying. And you are right, even though you give a lot of credit to my upbringing: Thank you btw! Dot? Our parents raised themselves during the depression, & they didn't turn out too too bad. They had us! In all of their hard & harsh yrs they wern't as screwed up as the "government assistance families" cheers Whats up with that? Because our parents didn't have "FREE" anything.
As TMarie stated way above in her post. "Welfare should be a fallback, not a career choice. Too many people that really NEED it can't get it because of people like her, and various other neighbors who know how to work the system." See THEY'RE WORKING @ doing the wrong thing. Don't tell me they don't know how! They do!
I don't think TMarie, lives in her trailer park, nor next to her neighbor so she can help RAISE her adult next door neighbor. (The kids are another story, & topic.) I've done my fair share of it taking a village to raise a child. See in my small way, I tryed to give back to another community. TMarie, IS doing HER job, & if she works full time, part time, or even trys to get assistance from the government...SHE's working @ doing the RIGHT thing! TMarie family is the one that my heart & prayers & thumbs up cheers goes out to! Why? She wants better for her children, not the same or worse. Been down that path, as a child & as an adult.
The single mom working for her family, the intact family that is working to make ends meet, from pay check to pay check. Thats where America's heart, along w its self realization & self respect come from
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Re: Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by DotNotInOz on Sun Nov 08, 2009 5:37 pm

Oh, believe me, I wish it were as easy as simply taking able-bodied people off welfare or reducing what they get so they "have to" get motivated.

Sure would be easier if it worked that way. Unfortunately, as with everything else, it takes social workers with significantly smaller case loads to monitor such families...yadda yadda yadda.

Okay, Tina...well, I didn't know that this woman came from a family background that was responsible. That's a different story.

What I'd like to know is why the hell her kids are still with her? Sounds to me as though child protective services ought to be alerted if the family isn't already being monitored by them.

Then again, it could easily be yet another situation of caseworkers spread so thin that they can't begin to keep up with situations like this one where able-bodied people who were raised better simply choose the easy out.

Which is why I think "workfare" programs are a great idea. The money isn't simply handed to people...they have to find a job and work a certain number of hours weekly under the restriction that their aid will gradually reduce if they don't demonstrate that they're getting training for a better job or are moving into self-supporting work. In short, make them do something in order to get any assistance at all if they're able to work.
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Post by TigersEyeDowsing on Sun Nov 08, 2009 6:03 pm

Take away pre-packaged food on welfare. It costs a lot more and is a lot less healthy. And it's way too convenient.

I think there should be a max amount of assistance any one person can receive in a lifetime. Taa-daa...thank you for being born, welcome to being an American citizen, you get $10,000 of food stamps and public housing assistance to last until we bury you...use it wisely.

I get 2 weeks of paid vacation a year. I don't get to go on paid vacation for three years solid. Welfare as a fallback is a nice idea (though highly idealistic).

Hunger is the best sauce. Take away the Little Debbie cakes for a few days and see how fast they turn off Maury and run out to grab a paycheck. Laughing Oh sure, there'll be mooching for a little while, until their friends say STOP TAKING MY SHIT AND GO TO WORK!

My mother was on welfare in the 80s for a few months when she couldn't land a job. It was a fallback, not a career choice! We lived in the projects (talk about sticking out Laughing have ya'll seen how pale I am?? We were the white family and we are seriously WHITE!) and had food stamps until she could get a waitressing gig. Always lived in dumpy, hole-inthewall rundown places, but hey, paid for with blood sweat and tears.

The generational thing I'm sure is hard to break, but hunger (along with education on opportunity) is a great fixer. You couldn't just yank the moneyplug or they'd go crazy and start shooting, you'd have to explain it's on a time frame and in 13 months, it's over, so have counselors ready who can help with job placement.


Tina, I've been thinking: Talking about how much you hate the trailer park where you live, couldn't you for about the same money get an apartment (Or even a more separated trailer?) Get away from your neighbors and their...personalities.

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Re: Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by DotNotInOz on Sun Nov 08, 2009 6:08 pm

Sometimes, I'm not so sure but what involuntary sterilization of multi-baby welfare queens isn't a pretty good idea.

Where'd we ever get the notion anyway that EVERYbody has a right to pop out numerous kids they haven't the maturity, sense or resources to care for properly?

What used to piss me off majorly when I taught high school were all the teenaged girls who kept their baby when they were no more capable than a dog of being halfway decent mothers. Why? Because they could get welfare.

The older I get, the more I think it wasn't such a bad idea when girls were pressured to give up their babies for adoption.

One of my students some years ago got pregnant at age 15 and begged her parents to help her keep the baby. They said, "Hell, no!" and enrolled the girl in a program through their church whereby she would live in another town with a family that had young kids, working as a mother's helper until the baby was born. Then, the baby would be put up for adoption.

Not such a bad idea, I thought, although I'm sure that never having had kids, I've no sense of how difficult it would be to give up your own child. I think that you have to consider more than "But it's MY baby" and think of what's best for the child. Weird idea, huh?
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Re: Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by sacrificialgoddess on Sun Nov 08, 2009 6:13 pm

Have you seen this program:

http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/new-program-pays-teens-not-to-get-pregnant/

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Re: Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vent...

Post by DotNotInOz on Sun Nov 08, 2009 6:21 pm

I think that's a decent idea, SG.

And no, I don't agree with Filipovic that teen mothers "should be able" to go to college, too.

They got pregnant. Sometimes, you have to learn to deal with the consequences of your own actions whether or not it's a lot of fun or what you'd rather do.
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