Messed-up Bible stories

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Messed-up Bible stories

Post by Daldianus on Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:46 pm

The amount of cool videos out there is simply amazing ... So creative and well done Smile

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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by Daldianus on Tue Sep 22, 2009 3:57 pm

lol, this one about Sodom and Gomorrha isn't bad either! Twisted Evil

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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by allthegoodnamesweretaken on Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:34 pm

Uh, those two have known plenty of men.....
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by DeavonReye on Tue Sep 22, 2009 4:49 pm

Yep, those are pretty entertaining.
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by Sakhaiva on Tue Sep 22, 2009 5:39 pm

loved the crickets in vid. 1
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by Daldianus on Wed Sep 23, 2009 7:30 am

Sakhaiva wrote:loved the crickets in vid. 1

I love 'God' in the video: "d'oh, where are they? what are they waiting for?' ... Laughing

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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by allthegoodnamesweretaken on Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:00 pm

....I want to destroy something already!
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by DotNotInOz on Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:22 pm

allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:....I want to destroy something already!

Hmmm...apparently, I've been misreading your username all this time. Seems to be "alltheGODnamesweretaken." < heh heh >
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by allthegoodnamesweretaken on Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:24 pm

Do you think I can get anyone to bow down to me?
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by DeavonReye on Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:20 pm

"Yeah, the women up here in Heaven are just so bland."

"You wouldn't think that to be the case, huh?"
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by Guest on Wed Sep 23, 2009 7:44 pm

allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:Uh, those two have known plenty of men.....

Well we do know that his daughters did "know" Lot.

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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by TigersEyeDowsing on Wed Sep 23, 2009 9:18 pm

allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:Do you think I can get anyone to bow down to me?

I've found a sharp kick in the nuts generally does the trick. They'll even have their hands clasped in prayer. Laughing

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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by DotNotInOz on Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:04 am

TigersEyeDowsing wrote:
allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:Do you think I can get anyone to bow down to me?

I've found a sharp kick in the nuts generally does the trick. They'll even have their hands clasped in prayer. Laughing

Well, yeesss. However, they're generally making noises not customarily prayerful although the name of God is often a portion thereof.
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by allthegoodnamesweretaken on Thu Sep 24, 2009 1:19 pm

warlordofks wrote:
allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:Uh, those two have known plenty of men.....

Well we do know that his daughters did "know" Lot.

I don't think that would have been a decision that was just arrived at by them. I think they were nymphos.


TigersEyeDowsing wrote:
allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:Do you think I can get anyone to bow down to me?

I've found a sharp kick in the nuts generally does the trick. They'll even have their hands clasped in prayer. Laughing


Evil Grin
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by TPaine on Thu Sep 24, 2009 4:20 pm

allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:
warlordofks wrote:
allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:Uh, those two have known plenty of men.....

Well we do know that his daughters did "know" Lot.

I don't think that would have been a decision that was just arrived at by them. I think they were nymphos.


TigersEyeDowsing wrote:
allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:Do you think I can get anyone to bow down to me?

I've found a sharp kick in the nuts generally does the trick. They'll even have their hands clasped in prayer.


Note to self: Do not see Dr. Bear for any type of genital ailment. His physical therapy regime sounds rather unpleasant.
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by allthegoodnamesweretaken on Thu Sep 24, 2009 4:37 pm

You get it, same old way, we treat it, same old way......

Wink
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by DotNotInOz on Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:50 pm

allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:
warlordofks wrote:
allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:Uh, those two have known plenty of men.....

Well we do know that his daughters did "know" Lot.

I don't think that would have been a decision that was just arrived at by them. I think they were nymphos.

Oh, I think there's a lot more to the story than that. Seems to me it's just the writer's way of slyly referring to a couple of nations, the Moabites and the Ammonites, longstanding enemies of Israel, as incestuous bastards. Calling people bastards is bad enough, but making these two nations not simply bastards but incestuous ones? Whew!

Of course, there's also the standard subtext of worthy men so often deceived and brought low by devious women. Same old stuff, in other words.
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by gillyflower on Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:59 pm

I rather think a good case could be made for Lot sexually abusing his daughters. I mean, don't you think his blaming them - oh, woe, they got me drunk and made me have sex with them, officers! - is more or less the same thing men say now when they get caught?

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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by DeavonReye on Fri Sep 25, 2009 10:16 am

True, gilly. I'm sure he knew what he was doing. Really righteous guy, huh.
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by TigersEyeDowsing on Fri Sep 25, 2009 10:18 am

Or maybe in the words of Flip Wilson, "the devil made me do it!"

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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by TigersEyeDowsing on Fri Sep 25, 2009 10:56 am

And I just have to share,

"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" -Woody Allen

I just saw this today and it made my morning.

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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by TPaine on Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:56 pm

gillyflower wrote:I rather think a good case could be made for Lot sexually abusing his daughters. I mean, don't you think his blaming them - oh, woe, they got me drunk and made me have sex with them, officers! - is more or less the same thing men say now when they get caught?
The thing is that the Bible, sexist document that it is, blames the women. The way it's written, Lot didn't even get to enjoy it.
Genesis 19:30-38 (New International Version)

Lot and His Daughters
30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let's get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father."

33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, "Last night I lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father." 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

36 So both of Lot's daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab [a] ; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi [b] ; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.

Footnotes:

a 1. Genesis 19:37 Moab sounds like the Hebrew for from father .
b 2. Genesis 19:38 Ben-Ammi means son of my people .
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by DeavonReye on Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:13 pm

Yeah, the story seems to be rather unrealistic.
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by TigersEyeDowsing on Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:34 pm

Totally sucks when you sleep through great sex.

Story of my life... Hey, I had awesome sex with two hot young gals! ...But I slept all the way through it and missed the whole thing.

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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

Post by DotNotInOz on Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:05 pm

DeavonReye wrote:Yeah, the story seems to be rather unrealistic.

Hence my assertion that it's simply an oblique way of expressing the Israelites' opinion of the Moabites and Ammonites--incestuous bastards with the added relish of blaming women yet again.

It's obvious, I thought, that the tale of Lot and his daughters is told from a distinctly smarmy male viewpoint, because I've long thought the writer rather relished the idea of being rendered drunk and then seduced by one's daughters.

How many women do you know--supposedly virgins--who are THAT devoted to preserving their father's line, which is given as the reason why they do it? Not to mention, how many men do you know who can get that drunk and still be capable?

Seems quite the characteristic male-dominant viewpoint that suffuses so much of the Christian Bible (including the implied leer at how virile and resistant to the effects of drink Lot undoubtedly was.)
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Re: Messed-up Bible stories

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