Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

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Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by FredLeTed on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:07 am



This is the Temporary Premises of the Saloon, while we erect the establishment. As a number of youse know, the Saloon is the place where folks come to have a break from the slash and thrust of debate and brawling ... although Saloons have a reputation of extendin' the disagrreements, if yer catch my drift.

Feel free to come in and sit at the Bar or at a table. Have a yarn, Scull a jug, flirt with Charlene (our bar maid ... take no mind of her husband). Admire the nude paintin' behind the bar (He's an old LeTed relative), and be careful of the wall mirror.

We have disco nights, bowling nights, karaoke nights. You name it, we'll have it. We are often redecorating the dunnies (through errors in judgment and design), and we have those mysterious gumball machines (those gums are really hard to chew, but those bubbles can be enormous!!!)

Mind, This ain't exactly Christianity Debate, but it keeps a lot of the locals close by in case you'all have to scuttle off back the the fiery discussion.

Beer
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by FredLeTed on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:17 am

BJ is still busy in Chicagee, selecting the furnishings and dresses for the can-can entertainment. She sends everyone her love & misses you. Hopefully she be around soon.

In the meantime, please meet Charlene, our Barmaid:



She's a real looker as you can see, but has already been snapped up.

The Saloon has a sister saloon over on facebook, and the same old crowd from B'net goes there, and we expect you'all to partake of the facilities here.
Welcome!


http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=105309859317&ref=nf

Don't make yerselves strangers.
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by FredLeTed on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:20 am

The Saloon has a few gigolos. They're actually my cousins: Bull LeTed and Mull LeTed. They've been know the make the gals swoon:


And they'se pretty good at the disco dancin' as you can see.
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by FredLeTed on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:28 am

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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by FredLeTed on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:32 am



Guys, you can buy the gals a drink too. Actually Ophelia LeTed will accept a drink. Make it drinks. And be ready to buy it by the flagon.
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by Daldianus on Sun Aug 16, 2009 5:05 am

Lots of sexy women in here ... Shocked

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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by Guest on Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:44 pm

Hey Fred. You forgot to mention that we only have three rules.
1. no talking politics.
2. no talking religion. Other than political or Religious jokes.
3. The most important rule that no one dares violate. That you must laugh at the Warlords jokes. Rolling Eyes Wink cheers drunken LMAO! Beer

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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by MaineCaptain on Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:34 pm

Oh my gosh, it is now officially dangerous around here Hysterical

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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by BonnieJay on Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:40 am

Hi ya'all,

Oi ois back frum Chicagee an' yer should see ther fancy frills, lacy knickers an' satin skirts we got fer our dancin' gals. Oi'm sposin' y'all will anyway.

Oh I see Fred & Warlord fergot ter tell yer all Oi ois frum Australia that's Strine, It's a agreat place, but livin' up North gives yer thois koinda accent which Oi hasn't bin able ter git rid of fer 9 years in here. Still, If y'all hate oit enuff, Oi kin try harder I s'pose.

Well I see Fred's introduced Charlene. She's a lil hirsuite, so she kin be a bit shy, we usually comment on her lippy or dress to take her shyness away. Charlene's a real good sort though and if she takes a likin' to yer, yer jest may find yerself havin' yer glasses filled no charge.

Anyway, we is takin' signatures out back fer Can Can Girls. Don't worry I may have a broken leg an' knee but Oi kin stoill teach, no problem there. Gals you will really be surprised when yer start dancin' No one can't dance here.

We need names fer our Barber Shop quartet too an' our piani man is usually found in ther seat asleep. Jest lift up ther lid, shake him out an' he'll be honky dory. That's OK in strine!!

Well hope you'll feel inclined ter pop in an' wet yer whistle often. Loike Warlord said we don't have but a few rules. Still we tend to make em up a lil as we go.

Oh yeah Fred's our Dunny (strine) cleaner and has just started on a new collection of Dunny brushes. I'd loike ter give Fred his first new dunny brush in this here establishment.

Here yer go Fred!!


PS afta Fred's speech when most will be asleep by then, there's a real bonza (great - strine) treat of food out in ther baroom, dancin' an' lots a drinkin' too. I'd better go help Charlene with ther servin' an' ther drinkin'.

albino
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by BonnieJay on Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:41 am



NOW BOYS. hANDS OFF THE GALS.
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by FredLeTed on Tue Aug 18, 2009 9:10 am

Thanks for the dubby brush, BJ. It's a mighty fine lookin' toilet objet d'art.

In fact, I like that skull. In fact, I like those teeth on the skull. So good lookin', I might replace my own choppers with those fangsters.


Bye the Bye, That Can-can your doing there ... yer got a fine lookin' set of pins, considering one of them should be busted. Yer got a lot of skill.


Now I feel like dancin':

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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by PB & A on Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:42 pm

I've been looking for a place to put this!

Thoughts On Getting Older

- Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

- Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

- One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

- My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

- The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

- The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

- The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

- Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

- Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

- Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

- They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "listen up.....do it and die."
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by PB & A on Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:44 pm

...And this:

Medical Funnies

Taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians. Apparently, it's not just their handwriting that's bad. Wink Editorial comments in brackets.

- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. [At least he was feeling no pain.]

- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

- On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. [Call the National Enquirer!]

- The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

- Discharge status: Alive but without permission. [Some people are so rude.]

- Healthy-appearing decrepit sixty-nine-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

- The patient refused an autopsy. [And who could blame them?]

- The patient has no past history of suicides.

- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. [...quick call the hospital and get them.]

- The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a forty-pound weight gain in the past three days.

- She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. [Was this an amicable split? Or a trial separation?]

- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

- She is numb from her toes down.

- The skin was moist and dry. [That's not skin; it's a moist towelette.]

- Patient was alert and unresponsive. [...not to mention forgetful.]

- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by allthegoodnamesweretaken on Wed Aug 19, 2009 7:21 pm

can I bring my lunch in?

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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by BonnieJay on Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:00 am

Hey y'all, so good ter see some ole timers back in here agin. PB&A Gal, what a treat ter see yer hon. Ain't not nothin' loike familly ter has around us fer a good toime.

It's beginnin' ter feel loike home!!

Oi swear PB&A you has hit ther nail on their head with yerprevious comments luv!!
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by BonnieJay on Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:43 am

Oh dern Oi lost mer post and Oi can't sit much longer woith mer bad leg, but ta PB&A, Oi done tole yer everyone kin dance oin ther Saloon. (Broken leg or not oit seems. Well Oi nevva. Even Fred goives oit a whirl.

Jest try ter stay away frum his hootch breath, Oit kin knock yer flat!!

Say PBA, Ois yer up fer bein' hired as one of ther Saloon's script writers? You got my votes an' laughs luv
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by BonnieJay on Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:48 am

Good ter see yer all.

Yer kin bring yer lunch or have both yours and ours served, don't matter ter Fred, he reckons all ther more fer hoim.

Acshully, yer ois welcome ter broing friends & family, yer dog or whoevva an' whattevva yer feels loike. Everyone's frens at the Saloon. Ther Saloon ois open fer all festivities too!!
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by BonnieJay on Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:59 am

Oh by ther way, we keeps everyone's favorite poison too. Oi makes shure ter stock up when Oi goes ter Chicagee!!

We has Ebon's an' Wolfy's mead too. We try ter keep Fred's hootch hidden, not 'cause yer would loike it, jest 'cause we has spent hours resuscitatin' him an' puttin out fires he's lit in dunnies when he'd bin drinkin'. What kin Oi says 'ee luves hois work an' hois dunnies, but has a perverse streak 'bout watchin' flames.
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by BonnieJay on Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:08 am

Oh yeah Oi almost fergot, he shure luvs hois hootch too.

We has droinks on ther house whenever Fred yells oit. He's a lil too literal though an' has ladders stashed everywhere. We has ter climb up on ther roof woith our droinks. Oi swear ther ladders are somethin' terruble on our dancin' toights!!

Stoill we hasn't had much to no success in tryin' ter change hoim an' hois ways, but oifn' we git a few more of our gang oin here that'll be helpful keepin' Fred subdued a lil'.
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by BonnieJay on Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:20 am

Say all,

most everyone gits along oin ther Saloon. No real barneys or any arguments here. Thois ois koinda loike an oasis oin ther middle of a desert.

Arguments mean no food, no drinks, so most all ois very co-operative.

A lil loike Oi may not agree, but Oi woill defend to ther death (or poke a fist at them what tries ter stop yer frum sayin' oit. Here luv, Have a drink on me. No not that literally!!
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by BonnieJay on Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:26 am

We hopes ter see some of our gang soon, Oi doubt many know we're here, but Oi assures yer they ois all good folk.

Got ter rest ther leg now, Y'all has a real good toime now. Morn'n' Charlene. Hopefully our Bette of ther two mixer droinks may pop oin soon too. Catchya all later!!
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by BonnieJay on Thu Aug 20, 2009 6:31 am

Oh Oi'd best tell yer now, we has a 20cent fine fer them what don't laugh at me BIL Warlord's jokes. Anuvva one fer them what can't stop laughin' at mer SIL PB&A'S jokes!!

Breakkies comin' up soon, come sit relax and enjoy. Good ter see y'all.
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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by Daldianus on Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:51 am

allthegoodnamesweretaken wrote:can I bring my lunch in?


You really like blood and death, don't you?

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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by gillyflower on Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:08 am

I think there is a big difference between liking to eat and liking blood and death, myself.

Although come to think of it, if you are a bear, blood is part of lunch.

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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

Post by MaineCaptain on Thu Aug 20, 2009 3:00 pm

Yes I do not think Bears always have the table manners we have learned to expect Razz

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Re: Ye Olde DAWG Saloon

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