The doom of TED .. aka it's me.

Hello all!

I suppose it's time I posted a little introduction here so you know who's behind the postings.

I am the wife of TED.

During the time of Nefertiti, I was delivered to the Nile in a canopic jar and TED broke it open and we got married. I promptly pushed him into the Nile, and he thus promptly flooded the Nile delta. Ever since then, our fights have been the stuff of legend. Krakatoa, Vesuvius, the fall of Atlantis, the moai statues of Easter Island .. they're all a byproduct of our conflicts.

Until a Higher Power (I think he said his name was Biff) sealed us into our current incarnations. So now I'm an Asian Christian married to a ... hippie.

Currently I reside in West Hollywood, California (L.A. County) and live with my cat (LOLshere), (occasionally) two dogs, and an voyeuristic opposum that hangs out outside my bathroom window and stares in all night long.

I run my own business with my roommate, who makes handbags, accessories, and other art projects. A preview of the stuff we make can be seen at his blog, which is http://signofthemonkey.blogspot.com/ ... full website coming soon!

This allows me to work from home so I am very happy with that as L.A. traffic makes me want to sacrifice slow and/or stupid drivers to Bubba the Traffic God. Damn .. that would be a lot of sacrifices. Oh well ...

Other than that, I love cooking, and turn out meals for 3 ~ 7 men daily. No, it's not like we're polygamists or a cult. I always have my roommate, his boyfriend, their cousins, and a few friends around for dinner all the time. Thus my cooking tends towards the exotic and experimental, and is more involved than most dinner preparations. However, TED is very recalcitrant about eating a balanced diet, and I have found the trick to making him eat my healthier food is to slap it in a Hardee's box and he'll slurp it right up.

Having said that, I hope people have a sense of humor.

Humour?

Bosh and Flimshaw!

We're a dour bunch we are... where's that monocle emote...

I say! - O_o

Are you the Monopoly Man?

(he's the only one I could think of pre-first-cup-of-coffee that has a monocle)

This forum is serious business, no jovality permitted.

TED told me this was the 4chan of God.

And it's so good to have you here, darling.

hee hee, pay no attention to Gorm, he is our resident curmudgeon, a very young one, but hey......
He is very informative, and when his guard comes down quite fun.



Thank you kittykaz, for introducing yourself.

Like the putrescent green of a week-dead
gangrenous finger, an excrescent mist soon fills the air. Regulars look
around, over their shoulders, under tables, fearful, yet unaware of any
sign indicative of their terror being fact-based, and yet, all the more
intense for that vague dread of uncertainty.



Suddenly, it's no longer vague. Like a verbal ginsu knife splitting
through the thread abdomen of the forum, the slime-trailing, filth-encrusted
worm, TaoJewGirl, appears upon the scene.



Trailing rotted bits and tendons of her last victims and the stray
maggots falling from her dried-blood-lined foul-breathed mouth like
sprayfoam spitting from waves breaking on a rocky shore, she peruses
the vast wasteland that is the board. The regulars cower behind their rocks,
knowing that their doom is finally upon them and that, though it will
be certain, it will not be swift.



One victim in particular holds out a thread of hope that he, he
alone might be the one to escape the ravages of the daemonic beast,
that he might survive yet another day.


But hold! A smell wafts around him like that of the moldy moss that
grows upon taut green flesh in the grave! A crunch on the sand behind
him! He turns his head, one last time, terror-crazed eyes huge in his
head as he sees the-

he sees the-

Richard Simmons?

Now I am really scared!

Even worse,

He sees Gordon try to eat, drink, and be Mary.