This makes no sense

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This makes no sense

Post by wmdkitty on Fri Jan 13, 2012 1:11 am

A child in my town died the other night of an "accidental*" hanging.

This death was, in fact, 100% preventable. He would still be alive if his parents had showed an ounce of common sense and supervised him.

The comment page on the local newspaper's website is 99.5 % "I'm so sorry for the family" "what a tragedy" etc, etc, etc. I don't disagree -- the family is grieving, this was a tragedy, nobody saw it coming, and it shouldn't have happened. The problem, however, is that NOBODY is willing to acknowledge that this kid didn't have to die. NOBODY is willing to admit that rope doesn't just magickally wrap itself around your neck -- it takes deliberate effort to do that. And, worst of all, they're absolving the (clearly negligent) parents of any and all responsibility. (Incidentally, all I got in response was attacks along the lines of "you're pathetic", "you're heartless", "loser", blah blah blah. Nobody could give me a single reason why I was in the wrong -- just personal attacks. And one jerkass perused my blog and called me a fat pathetic loser.)

And on another site, I have a few "fans" (total POB***!) who are insisting on taking things I've said and twisting them horribly out of context to make me look like some kind of horrible babby-hater who should just fuck off and die. Oh, and then the one bitch that had the nerve to make light of domestic abuse, my case specifically, using a few posts I'd made about specific behaviors my ex would do, like pissing on me while I was in the shower, or demanding to ejaculate on my face. Both actions are assault, TYVM. All because I pointed out that IVF is selfish because it denies already-born children of a forever family.

*SMFH*

And... somehow, I'm "mean" for pointing out what other people are overlooking? I have "issues" because I advocate for adoption? confused

Am I in the wrong, here? Am I being unreasonable? Or am I just expecting too much civility from the internet? (Not that meatspace is much better on that front.)

*It takes some pretty damn deliberate effort to get into a position where you can, in fact, be hanged. Even "accidentally".

**I say "clearly negligent" not because they allowed the kid to perform with the Circus Guild, or at the Public Market, 'cuz that's cool. I say it because they disregarded the child's safety while child was practicing or working out new tricks/routines to such a degree that the child is now dead.

***POB = "Pack Of Bitches"
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Re: This makes no sense

Post by sacrificialgoddess on Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:22 am

When I first saw "Child" and "Accidental Hanging" I immediately thought autoerotic asphyxia. What does that say about me?

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Re: This makes no sense

Post by wmdkitty on Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:09 am

That... ooohkaaaay...

No, apparently he was practicing some circus thing or something with a rope, and the rope somehow ended up around his neck and game over.
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Re: This makes no sense

Post by sacrificialgoddess on Fri Jan 13, 2012 11:26 am

One of those saw it in a movie and then tried it at home things?

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Re: This makes no sense

Post by allthegoodnamesweretaken on Fri Jan 13, 2012 12:33 pm

Now you understand what happens to me every time there is some kind of shooting. People on the internet can't seem to understand that a gun is an inanimate object, like a rope, and not a living creature with a malicious will of it's own bent on destruction.
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Re: This makes no sense

Post by tmarie64 on Fri Jan 13, 2012 12:41 pm

I posted... Not sure what happened to it.
How old was the kid? I have a friend who, when he was 10, tied a cape around his neck and tried to fly off the roof of their house. His cape got caught on the clothesline. He nearly killed himself by hanging. 10, though, is PLENTY old enough to play in the yard without constant supervision.
I can't comment further until I know how old he was.

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Re: This makes no sense

Post by wmdkitty on Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:45 pm

He was 10, and apparently a performer.

I'm not saying his parents should have been, like, helicoptering and protecting him from everything, just that they should have been aware of the kid's activities and supervise accordingly.
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Re: This makes no sense

Post by tmarie64 on Fri Jan 13, 2012 11:43 pm

You mean you think parents should keep tabs on every single minute of the day? Shit happens. We can't keep an eye on our kids every second. I just don't think this is automatic negligence. Since I know a guy who, at 10, did something stupid and if his mom hadn't been looking out her kitchen window and just the right time, he'd be dead.

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Re: This makes no sense

Post by tmarie64 on Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:03 am

Oh... And I'm not criticizing you, and don't think people should have gotten all asshole on you. But I know how stupid 10 year olds can be. Smile

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Re: This makes no sense

Post by wmdkitty on Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:09 am

I know how stupid 10 year olds can be, too -- I was one! And that's kinda what parents are there for, you know? Stopping you (as a kid) from doing really stupid things. (Well, one of the things parents are there for, at least.)
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Re: This makes no sense

Post by Beribee on Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:53 am

10 year olds do stupid crap and there's no way parents can watch them 24/7. We weren't there, so we don't know the exact circumstances. I'm pretty sure the parents are beating themselves up enough already without total strangers trying to place the blame on them. It is a tragedy plain and simple and no amount of finger pointing is going to bring him back. Just my opinion....

However, that being said, everyone has a right to their opinion....and name calling and just plain nastiness is unacceptable and shouldn't be tolerated by the newspaper! It's sad that people can't seem to show others respect anymore. And all of that just takes the attention away from where it belongs....a life cut short too soon.

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Re: This makes no sense

Post by wmdkitty on Sat Jan 14, 2012 1:29 am

Sometimes I just want to quit the internet.

I just don't get how people can be so freakin' MEAN!

And, you know, if I was out of line, I really would appreciate someone explaining to me what was wrong and why it was inappropriate.
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Re: This makes no sense

Post by tmarie64 on Sat Jan 14, 2012 8:55 am

Yeah, meanness is uncalled for. I'm always asking about accountability. Makes me less than popular on the local tv stations facebook pages. LOL The tv stations don't mind it because I'm the controversy, I keep the conversations going.
A 2 year old got hit by a car, backing out of the driveway. I said, "Yes, thank God she's ok. BUT how did she get there in the first place? Why wasn't someone holding her while the car was moving?"... Someone actually told me that as long as she was ok it didn't matter.... Can you believe that?!

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Re: This makes no sense

Post by gillyflower on Sat Jan 14, 2012 9:03 am

I think the problem is, kitty, that you just can't watch children all the time. When they are 10 they play by themselves sometimes or with friends and the parents don't think a thing of it. I mean, we know they are in the yard, or in their rooms, or over at a friends house or playing in the woods.... but they may not be under our eyes every moment at that age. They tell us what they are going to be doing but sometimes they end up doing something else. We (as parents) have drummed into them what they are supposed to do and not do but sometimes they dream up something to do that wasn't covered, and it is horrifying. Or they just think their parents are idiots and ignore what they've been told.

When something terrible like this happens the parents beat themselves up over it. They'll ask themselves a million times why they didn't know it was happening, why s/he did that, what they could have done to stop it. They will think it is their fault somehow. You can't imagine the guilt they have right now.

Accidents happen. Kids don't always follow the rules. I think that might have something to do with it.

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Re: This makes no sense

Post by gillyflower on Sat Jan 14, 2012 9:06 am

We need to have a thread someday about how people today will say things to other people on the internet that they would never ever dream of saying in person. They feel like there are no consequences.

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Re: This makes no sense

Post by Willowcreek70633 on Sat Jan 14, 2012 1:36 pm

Our little town had a "toddler die" this past summer. Very heart wrenching for all concerned from the parents to the entire community. I can understand the "out burst" that wmdkitty is talking about. The family had moved to a new neighborhood where there were no gated private swimming pools. The toddler walked 2 streets over & was found dead in a neighbor's pool. The toddler past many not gated pools to get to the final destination. The whole incident shocked me to the core. They had been our neighbors for all these years...we have NO pools in our neighborhood. I wondered, blamed, was outspoken within my home. They should of never moved. They really didn't need to move away. They could of expanded their home. All these logical to me grasp of a truth that was not mine to question. I too in my mind, questioned the ability of the "care taker" of the toddler. I was trying to place "blame" on anyone, anything....but none of that could of brought the child back, or changed what happened from that day forward. My daughter who is a mother of a toddler, had very little nice, comforting things to say about the incident. I asked her why she was so harsh/heartless? I tried to understand her harshness. That was her reaction, to attack, to try to find answers to questions that she had. We've heard of people who laugh uncontrollable at funerals, or at the sight of blood. That is a "reaction" as individual as the person. There are times in our lives where there are just no answers to our questions. As parents we wonder a lot of the times if what we are teaching, saying, & showing, justifies are children's behaviors, ideas, & outlooks. Children are their own people from day one. As gilly said above "Kids don't always follow the rules." As grown adults there are a lot of us here that the same statement is true for. And for reasons unknown to us, we survived our own misfortunes. It is sad that a life was cut short. It is horrific that parents & the community must live with this for the rest of their lives. For any parent to lose a child (does not matter how old the child is) goes against the laws of nature. Maybe for someone this incident was a "reality check" a "wake up call". We do not have a crystal ball to know, we can only hope.
As for gilly what you stated above about People via Internet? Maybe we should pursue that here on our lil site!
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