The Nice or Nothing Thread

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The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by DotNotInOz on Tue Oct 26, 2010 8:47 pm

I'm distressed by the atmosphere here of late. Perhaps as some have suggested, it's simply one of those periodic phases of snarkiness that will vanish into the e-ethers soon.

I'm not so sure. I've found myself thinking about some of the things that have been said, not by any means exempting myself from this scrutiny, and feel that too many times we've created an atmosphere that wouldn't seem very warm or welcoming to a newcomer. Sometimes, I think the bulk of us who have a long history with each other from both BN & BC are much too insular and don't consider as carefully as we might how we may appear to someone who doesn't know us.

Thus, this thread.

--I will write a posting, read it through, and if I feel that it may be meanspirited in the slightest, particularly if I'm attempting to pass off meanness as "J/K" or a joke, then I will notepad that posting and give it a 24-hour hiatus. If it doesn't pass muster upon re-examinination, and I can't see a way to improve it, it gets trashed.

--Before I post, I will examine my attitude and determine if I'm posting in a manner that will open the thread to further beneficial communication. Would a newcomer feel welcomed and encouraged to reply by what I plan to say? Would those already here be inspired by what I say to reply kindly so as to encourage similar replies?

--If I feel someone else's posting is objectionable, I will hit the "Report" button and post my remarks, frustration, anger there if I must rather than poison the board with criticisms.

--Should the admins or mods seem not to deal with the reported posting as I'd prefer, I will simply not reply to it and will not complain further, certainly not on the board.

--When I feel offended, upset or otherwise am unhappy with what someone else has said, I will not reply to that person for a while rather than risk saying something ugly.

In short, if I can't say something nice, I'll say nothing about the topic or nothing to that specific person.

Nice or Nothing, that's my vow to my YS friends and friends I've yet to meet here.
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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by TigersEyeDowsing on Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:39 pm

Mindful posting?

Who'd have thought?

Wink

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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by sacrificialgoddess on Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:49 pm

NahNah

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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by wmdkitty on Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:48 pm

Sometimes, things need to be said that aren't necessarily "nice", but... what? Smile, nod, and move along?
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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by DotNotInOz on Wed Oct 27, 2010 3:42 am

If you really feel it needs to be said, for instance to someone who has made a false statement, then you figure out a way to say that firmly but as politely as you can--that's my take on that issue.

I'm not saying I plan to roll over and invite people to kick me in the gut whenever they feel like it.

Can't say what you'd choose to do, Kitty. Not my bidness.

This thread isn't an attempt to advise others how they ought to respond. I'm only stating how I plan to conduct myself henceforth. If the thread inspires others to reconsider how they respond, that's cool. I'd like that to happen, of course.
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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by tmarie64 on Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:51 am

Or, speak honestly to those who assume... Just sayin'...
Never, ever assume anything not stated clearly. Assumptions cause hurt feelings.

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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by gillyflower on Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:15 am

I think that we all assume on occasion and we will all hurt other people with words when we do not have that intention. That's pretty much a given. It is a two way street. Before assuming, too, that the other person meant to hurt you, ask.

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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by tmarie64 on Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:21 am

Don't get upset when someone tells you you've offended them.

Nice is..."I didn't mean to offend you. I won't say it again." Don't rip someone for being offended or angry.

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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by DotNotInOz on Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:02 am

I'm sorry, everyone. I shouldn't have included the phrase, "for instance...statement," in my previous posting.

I haven't been thinking clearly lately, and saying that was really dumb, considering that I'd just stated that I intend to say nice things.

Guess that's what it means to be human. Sometimes, we do really contradictory and dumb things despite having better intentions.

Anyway, I'm sorry and will work harder to stick with my resolve to speak nicely.
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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by allthegoodnamesweretaken on Wed Oct 27, 2010 11:34 am

Hm.

This social interaction is a bit much for me sometimes.

I don't understand the whole nice/mean thing.

I do understand attack/defend.

I find, even IRL, when people start exchanging pleasantries and small talk, I don't have much to say. I'm not much of a social creature. I take after my avatar that way.

What I can vow to do, is that if something I say crosses the line somewhere, just delete it. Not only will I probably not remember that I posted it, but it's not going to hurt my feelings at all.

all
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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by Willowcreek70633 on Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:53 pm

bounce What in hell are y'all talkin bout???? I leave for awhile because I have LIFE to deal with & I come back to this???? OM Goodness! What to do, what to do???? Who started this thread? DONOTINOZ? Are you crazy? Looky here lady, you are about as offensive as a worm. OK, one with hair on them...catapillars? The little poisionous ones, maybe.
Oh my gosh, we're human we are animals sometimes, & sometimes we try to attain bliss. Thats a hard act to balance! Tell me bout it. I'm surrounded by "mind freaks" here @ Ft. Gordon! LOL Cut a sister a break, will ya? Well yes we DO make mistakes, hell if I open my mouth THATS a mistake. And I know others just like me. Your here, I've seen ya, read ya, & I know...gee do I know.
HOWEVER ladies & gentlemen if we do NOT watch ourselves we will not let anything new into our little 'spirituality' web site....Hm? How does that look to the "outsiders, searchers, seekers, the unknowing, the want to knows & the ones that have been blinded by mis information, & broad sided by ignorance within their own families???
Oooo my...any body other than DONOTINOZ ever wonder bout that? Huh? Answer me here....whats wrong with you people? Hasn't anybody ever told y'all if YOU give respect, YOU get respect? Whats up with that? HUh?
People really are funny....if they ain't that...they're really pissin me off! Now lets mix it up & get this party started!
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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by wmdkitty on Mon Dec 06, 2010 2:39 pm

No time to party until I'm done with this quarter! And even then, there may not be time...

/burned out
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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by Willowcreek70633 on Wed Dec 08, 2010 1:08 pm

Very Happy Wow, burned out? Thats really a bummer, but I do understand Kitty!
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Re: The Nice or Nothing Thread

Post by marizfaith on Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:20 pm

I would suggest to bear with it till you can. Everything comes to pass after sometime.
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